The Certain Suitcase Affair

The day was calm. The sky was clear. The wind was blowing just enough to make it feel slightly chilly. The leaves were just turning red and orange.
A woman walked quickly. Her gloved hand was holding her fur hat in place. Her blonde hair bobbed up and down in rhythm with her clacking red high heels. Her cheeks were rosy because of the chill.
The woman walked towards a man with a large suitcase. She stopped by him and they walked with each other for a short while. The man handed her the suitcase and she walked off with it.
Illya Kuryakin watched this exchange from inside a car. He brought his cigarette case to his mouth.
"She has made the exchange," He said into the case.
"Follow her," A female voice replied.
Illya started his car. He slowly followed the woman in his car. She didn't seem to notice him at first. As time passed she began to look over her shoulder and look at Illya's car.
"I think she has spotted my car," Illya said into his cigarette case.
"I suppose you should start following her on foot," The female voice replied with a certain amount of vexation.
"And if I were to be caught?" Illya said.
"You are a talent scout and you saw her and thought she would be perfect for a role in a movie you wish to produce," The female voice said as if it were common knowledge.
"Very well," Illya said.
Illya waited for when the woman had just turned away before stopping the car at a corner. He stepped out of the car. As he walked he put on his glasses. The woman turned and looked over her shoulder for the car, but didn't see it.
She sighed in relief and continued on her way. Illya followed her. He kept a good distance between them so that she would not notice. The woman stopped at a hotel. She walked inside. Illya followed her into the hotel.
Illya walked in. He saw the woman talking with the receptionist. Illya pulled out his cigarette case. He pulled a cigarette out of the case and whispered into the case. "I am going to make contact with her," He said.
"Mister Kuryakin! That's too dangerous and foolhardy," The female voice said.
Illya put his hand in his pocket. "Not at all," Illya said, "if you send me some back up."
The female voice made an annoyed noise. "Very well, I'll send you someone," She said.
"Thank you," Illya said putting the cigarette in his mouth.
"Whatever."
Illya walked towards the woman. She still stood near the receptionist. She was speaking with an upset voice. "What do you mean they've lost my reservations?" She said in distress.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but there is no record of an Amelia Thornton making a reservation," The receptionist said calmly.
The woman made an upset noise. "But I've already paid for the room and everything," The woman said.
Illya walked up to the receptionist. "I could not help overhearing this lady's problem," He said. "I will pay for her new room."
The woman looked over at him in surprise. "Oh, would you?" She said smiling.
"Yes, but in exchange I need to talk to you for a conversation," Illya said.
The woman looked Illya up and down. "Very well," She said smiling.
Illya handed the receptionist a bill. The receptionist handed the woman the key and handed Illya what change was left. The woman handed her suitcase off to one of the hotel staff. She walked with Illya towards a bar at one side of the hotel.
Illya sat her on one bar stool. "I will be right back. Don't go away," He said smiling at her.
The woman looked him up and down again through half lidded eyes. She smiled slightly as she watched him walk around a corner.
Illya hid behind a plant. He put his cigarette case up to his mouth. "I have her distracted. She is in room 428," He said.
"Thank you for the information, Mister Kuryakin," The female voice said dryly.
"Well, goodbye," Illya said putting the cigarette case in his jacket pocket.
Illya walked back towards the bar. The woman looked at him walk back towards her. She smiled as Illya sat himself on a bar stool.
"So, my dashing hero, what is your name by chance?" The woman asked.
"Illya Kuryakin," Illya said putting his glasses and cigarette back into his jacket, "and may I ask what the name of my damsel in distress is?"
"Amelia Thornton," The woman said turning towards the bar and gesturing for the bar tender.
The bar tender set down two glasses. "A glass of brandy," Amelia said.
Illya looked at the glass. "Oh, I will have the same," He said.
The bar tender poured the brandy into their cups. Amelia raised her glass towards her lips, but didn't drink it. She eyed the brandy with her grey eyes.
"Now, Mister Kuryakin, what has you so generous towards me?" Amelia asked turning towards Illya.
"I am looking for a woman to play a certain part in a movie," Illya said.
"Ah, so you're a talent scout," Amelia said in a matter of fact tone.
"You can say that, yes," Illya said.
"What is the movie about?" Amelia asked taking a sip of her brandy. Her red lipstick clung to the glass.
"Does it really matter?" Illya asked raising his glass. He drank the entire glass of brandy in one swallow.
Amelia eyed Illya with a small amount of suspicion. "I'd like to know what part I am supposed to play," She said.
"It is a movie about an overly suspicious uncle that is spying on his niece because he believes her to be a witch," Illya said thinking quickly.
"Oh, would I be the niece?" Amelia asked setting the glass down.
"Yes," Illya said. "Now don't worry, she does not die in the end."
Amelia's lips parted into an 'O'. "Is the niece actually a witch?" She asked.
"No, just a sneaky fox," Illya said smiling. He gestured at the bar tender to refill his glass.
Amelia smiled slightly. "And why is she a sneaky fox?" She asked moving slightly closer to Illya.
Illya glanced at her. "She was involved with a very dangerous group of people," Illya said.
The bar tender poured Illya another glass of brandy. Illya looked up at Amelia. She was looking at him with a small smirk on her face.
"Mister Kuryakin, I'd like to continue this conversation somewhere a little more private," She said.
Illya's eyebrows raised only slightly. He took a sip of his brandy. "Do you?" He said slowly. He began to scan around the bar. He didn't see anyone he recognized.
Amelia stood up and Illya stood up as well. She took his arm and walked towards the elevator. Illya followed nervously, but he hid his uneasiness. She stepped into the elevator and clicked on the fourth floor button. Illya felt the elevator start to move. The elevator chugged up four floors before stopping slowly.
The elevator doors opened. Napoleon Solo stepped in. A surprised look graced both Illya and Napoleon's feature.
"Illya," Napoleon said smiling.
"What are you doing here, Napoleon?" Illya asked smiling in a similar fashion.
"I've been trying to find you. See, the lovely receptionist said that you had gotten a room so I checked there, but you weren't in," Napoleon said.
"Oh, I am very sorry for all this. I bought that room for this young lady," Illya said still faking his smile.
Napoleon raised an eyebrow and looked at Amelia with a half-smile on his face. He looked her up and down.
"What can I do for you, Napoleon?" Illya asked.
"Oh, our uncle asked for you to come over immediately," Napoleon said. "It seems that he needs you for something. Of course, he wouldn't ever want you to leave such a lovely lady alone without seeing her to her room."
Illya glared at Napoleon slightly. "Very well, I will meet you in the lobby," Illya said smiling another fake smile.
"Good, good," Napoleon said stepping out of the way of the elevator door. Illya and Amelia stepped out of the elevator and Napoleon stepped in.
Napoleon smiled at Amelia. "Good day," He said as the elevator doors closed.
Illya and Amelia walked towards room 428. "You two don't looked related," Amelia said.
"He is adopted," Illya said dryly.
Amelia gave Illya a look. They stopped at the door of Amelia's room. She turned and smiled at Illya. "I guess this is good bye for now," She said.
"It appears so," Illya said smiling.
Amelia blew Illya a kiss before closing the door. Illya shuddered before walking very briskly to the elevator. He stepped inside the elevator. Right after the doors closed there was a strange sound as a white gas billowed into the elevator. Illya's eyes widened, but there was nothing he could do to stop himself from breathing in. He fell down into a deep sleep. The elevator stopped on the second floor. The doors opened and two men with gas masks on dragged him out of the elevator. They took his communicator and gun and dumped him into a box which they put on a dolly.
A very small little girl witnessed this from behind a plant. Her eyes were very wide in fear. One of the men noticed the little girl. He called out in surprised. The little girl began to run down the hall to get away from the two men, but one of the men chased after her. He grabbed her arm. She squealed. He hit over the head and she fainted. He picked her up and walked back to the other man.
The man that didn't chased the girl ran his fingers through his hair. "What are we going to do with her?" He asked nervously.
"Don't worry Frank. I've got an idea," The man that had the girl said.
Frank nodded. "Well, tell me it," He said annoyed.
"I am going to change into a suit and pretend this little girl is my daughter and she's only asleep," The man with the girl said.
"And I'll just go with the plan from before?" Frank asked.
"Yep," The man with the girl said smiling. His smile looked evil and cruel. He handed Frank the little girl and went to change. Frank looked around nervously, but he had no reason to be nervous. No one walked down the hall until his associate.
Frank handed back the little girl to his associate. His associate smiled cruelly again. Frank pushed the dolly into the elevator, which had now been aired out so that it was safe to go in without the gas mask. Both Frank and his associate put their gas masks into box with the knocked out Illya.
Frank went down the elevator first. He pushed the dolly past Napoleon. Napoleon only glanced at the dolly for a second. Frank pushed the dolly towards a large truck. He put the box in the truck and walked to the front of the truck and climbed into the driver's seat.
Frank's associate took the elevator after Frank. He walked through the lobby very calmly. He walked past Napoleon and Napoleon barely even glanced towards him. Frank's associate also got into the truck. He had to hold the little girl in his lap.
"Why don't you put her in the back?" Frank asked.
"That might attract unwanted attention. Just drive. I'll put her into the back after we're out of the view of the hotel," Frank's associate said.
Frank shrugged then started the truck. The truck moved forward slowly. They drove for awhile before stopping at a apartment building. Frank's associate got out of the truck after looking around and making sure there was no one around. He went to the back of the truck and put the little girl into it. Frank started the truck again and the two men drove off.
As the truck bounced down the street the little girl woke up. Her eyes were not used to the darkness. She whimpered.
The little girl began to sob. She leaned against the box. Something inside the box began to move. She turned towards the box, but she couldn't see it. She felt it with her hands.
"Mister?" She whisper.
She knocked on the box and heard another moving sound. She stood up as tall as she could and reached the top of the box. She opened the box as well as she could. "Mister?" She whispered again.
Illya made a moaning noise. The little girl shook the box. "Mister?" She said again a little louder.
"Ah, my head," Illya said sitting up in the box. Illya pushed the box over. There was a loud thud as he landed on the floor of the truck.
"Are you okay?" The little girl asked.
"Yes," Illya said. He sat up. The truck hit a bump. The little girl whimpered again.
"Where are we?" Illya asked.
"I don't know," The little girl said starting to cry again.
"What is your name?" Illya asked trying to stop the little girl from breaking down into sobs.
"Annabel," The little girl said sniffling.
"How did you get here?"
"A man grabbed me because I saw you get taken," Annabel said still sniffling.
"Do you know who the man was?" Illya asked.
Annabel began to cry again. "No," She sobbed.
Illya froze up. He began to shush her and tried to quiet the little girl. He reached for her and found her shoulder. He continued to shush her.
"It will be alright..." He said lamely. He tried to avoid using his normal negative terms.
Annabel slowly stopped crying. Illya thought of ways to get her to think of something beside being in the back of a dark truck.
"So, how old are you?" Illya asked.
"Six," Annabel said.
"So, you are in grade one?" Illya asked.
"Yeah," She said sniffling.
"What do your parents do?"
"My mommy is a accountant. My daddy is a banker," Annabel said.
Illya sat silently for a few moments. Annabel sniffled a few more times. "What's you name, Mister?" She asked.
"Illya," Illya replied. He searched his pockets for anything that might help the situation. He pulled out a lighter. He flicked it a few times before getting a light.
The small flame illuminated the dark truck just enough for the two captives to see each other. The little girl had dark brown hair and large, light-blue eyes. She was small and nervously. She had a blue dress on. The dress had white buttons running down the front. Her shoes were white with small gold clasps.
Her eyes were swollen from all her crying. She crawled closer to Illya. She wiped her eyes. Illya noticed the large bruise on her forehead. He turned towards her and held the lighter higher to get a better look at the bruise.
"Does that hurt?" Illya asked.
Annabel put her finger to the bruise and winced. She wobbled a little. Illya stopped her from falling over. He laid her down.
"I guess it did," He said looking around the truck. He looked inside the box for anything of use. He saw the two gas masks. He took them out. The box was empty.
Illya sighed. He dug through his suit for something that to help the situation. He didn't find his gun or his communicator. He let out another exasperated sigh. He took off his shoe and popped the heel off. He took out two small explosive devices. He put one on one side of the truck and the other on the other side of the truck. He crawled over and leaned over Annabel to protect her from the blast. The two explosives went off and the truck door fell off onto the ground.
Illya picked up Annabel and looked out of the back of the truck. It seemed they were on a highway. Illya curse silently. A car drove up behind the truck. There was a woman in the car. Her eyes widened in surprised. She began to honk loudly. She continued to honk until the truck began to slow down.
When the truck was almost fully stopped, Illya jumped out of it. His legs buckled and he landed on one knee. The woman in the car slammed on her brakes. She jumped out and ran towards Illya.
"Are you insane?!" She was shouting.
Illya stood up and grimaced in pain. "Get back in your car!" He shouted limping towards her vehicle.
Something about the urgency in his voice made the woman run back to her car. Illya climbed into the passenger seat. "Drive," He said.
Frank and his associate were already out of the truck and chasing after Illya. Frank's associate pulled a gun out from his suit. The woman's mouth opened.
"Drive!" Illya shouted at the woman. She slammed down on the gas and hit Frank's associate. He went under the car in a loud crunch. The woman's eyes were wide. She turned and went around the truck as fast as her car could go.
"I just hit a man..." She said quietly in disbelief.
"His life or yours," Illya said.
"I just hit a man!" The woman suddenly shouted and slammed on her brakes.
"Shut up! That man does not deserve your guilt," Illya hissed.
"Who are you?" The woman asked suddenly.
"A man that needs to get this little girl to a hospital," Illya said angrily.
The woman looked over at the little girl. "What happened to her?"
"I don't know. She said that one of those men hit her over the head," Illya said angrily. "Would you please go?"
The woman frowned. "Fine, but after we get to the hospital you're explaining to me why you were in that moving truck to begin with," She said. She hit the gas and the car lurched forward. She took the first exit and headed down roads she seemed familiar with.
"What's the little girl's name?" The woman asked.
"Annabel," Illya said.
"No last name?"
"She did not tell me it," Illya said.
The woman made a face. "How convenient," She said dryly. "What's your name?"
"Illya Kuryakin," Illya replied.
"Who's kid is she?" The woman asked.
"I don't know."
The woman made an annoyed noise. She slowed down as she made a turn towards a city. She drove down a few more roads before she reached a hospital. She got out of the car. Illya stepped out holding Annabel.
They walked inside of the hospital. Illya was heavily limping. The woman kept giving Illya a concerned look. The woman stopped Illya in the waiting room.
"I'll go get a nurse," She said. "You need to sit down. That knee injury looks pretty severe."
She walked towards the nurse's window. "Ma'am, there is a man and a little girl that need to be looked at as soon as possible." She said.
"Name?"
"My name is Karen Stephens," The woman said. "The man that is injured is named Illya Kuryakin and the little girl's first name is Annabel, but she has been unconscious so we don't know her last name."
The nurse nodded. She gestured towards one of the other nurses. A nurse walked towards Karen. "They're over there," Karen said pointing towards Illya and Annabel.
A nurse took Annabel from Illya. Illya automatically stood up with the nurse. He grimaced in pain again. The nurse looked at him. "Wait here, we'll have someone get you a wheelchair," She said.
Illya sat back down. His face was contorted in pain. Karen sat beside him. She noticed how bloodied his pant leg was. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed. She reached towards his pant leg.
"Do not touch it. It already hurts enough," Illya said with his eyes squeezed shut.
"Nurse?!" Karen said standing up quickly.
A nurse looked at her. "Yes?"
"His leg is severely bleeding," Karen said.
The nurse looked at Illya's leg. Her eyes widened. "Dear lord!" The nurse said rushing out from behind the window. She ran to get a wheelchair. Illya was soon wheeled off towards an operating room.
A doctor was in the room very soon. "How did you do this to your knee?" The doctor asked after he had removed Illya's pants to see the leg.
"I jumped out of a moving truck to get the little girl to a hospital," Illya said quickly in a way that made it seems as though it were a perfectly normal thing to say.
The doctor stared at Illya for a short amount of time. "You did what?"
"I jumped from a car," Illya said slowly.
The doctor rubbed his temples. "Well, you're pretty lucky," He said.
Illya frowned. "It still hurts..." He said.
"The best I can do right now is clean it and wrap it," The doctor said. "Your knee cap isn't going to be the same for a good amount of time..."
"Is the little girl alright?" Illya asked.
"She has a severe head trauma, but she'll live. Who ever hit her hit her like she was a grown man even though she's a small child," The doctor said.
Illya shook his head. "What would have happened if she did not get to a hospital?" He asked.
"She would have died," The doctor said.
Illya was silent for some time. The doctor examined Illya's knee. The doctor put something on the knee and Illya winced. The doctor turned to leave the room.
"Can I place a phone call?" Illya asked.
The doctor thought for a moment. "Yes, I'll get the phone for you," He said walking towards the phone. He moved the phone as far from the wall as possible and handed Illya the receiver.
Illya pulled out a business card with a phone number on it. "Would you type this number in for me?" He asked. The doctor nodded and dialed the number in.
A woman's voice answered. "Hello," She said.
"This is Illya Kuryakin," Illya said.
"Oh, Mister Kuryakin," She said. "What can I do for you?"
"I've been admitted to a hospital. My communicator is gone. I would like it if you sent someone with another one," Illya said.
"Understood, we'll track this number and send someone right away," The woman said.
Illya moved the receiver from his ear. He handed it back to the doctor. The doctor hung up the phone then left the room.
Illya sat in the room for awhile. A nurse came in and wrapped his knee in bandages. "Is that too tight?" The nurse asked.
"No."
The nurse looked up at Illya. "You're the guy that jumped out of a truck to save a little girl," She said.
Illya nodded.
"That's the most heroic story I've heard since I've been here," The nurse said.
Illya watched her bandage his knee and didn't react to her praise. The nurse finished bandaging his leg. She stood up and walked out of the room. The room was empty and quiet for sometime.
There was a knock on the door. Karen popped her head into the room. "Hey," She said walking in.
"Hello?" Illya said uncertainly.
"How's your leg?" She asked.
"It's bandaged," Illya said.
"I can see that," Karen said. "Is anything broken?"
"No," Illya replied.
Karen nodded thoughtfully. Her short black hair bobbed with the motion.
"Okay, so explain why you were in that truck," Karen said walking over to a chair.
"Can we talk about this after I've gotten my pants back?" Illya asked.
Karen laughed slightly. Her dark eyes squinted in amusement. "Alright, but you are going to explain to me why you were in that truck," She said.
"Very well," Illya said.
Karen stepped out of the room and headed back towards the lobby. As she walked she bumped into a man. She looked at him to apologized. A smile played onto the man's lips. It was Napoleon Solo.
"I'm sorry for that," Napoleon said. He stopped and looked her over. She had black hair and dark eyes. She was wearing a brown pencil skirt that went below her knees and white blouse tucked in.
"No, it was my fault," Karen said firmly.
Napoleon laughed. "So, what is a lovely lady like you doing in a hospital like this?" He asked.
"Oh, I was just visiting a... friend," Karen replied.
"What was with the hesitation?" Napoleon asked.
"Well, I just met him and stuff," Karen said. "I don't know if I should call him a friend or not since I barely know him."
"Ah, you wouldn't happen to be talking about a Illya Kuryakin would you?" Napoleon asked.
"Yeah, how do you know him?" Karen asked.
"I work with him. My name is Napoleon Solo," Napoleon said smiling and holding out his hand for a shake.
"Karen Stephens," Karen said taking his hand and shaking.
"How did Illya hurt himself?" Napoleon asked.
"He jumped out of a moving truck," Karen said. "Landed on just one knee. It tore the knee up."
"Huh, if have thought Illya could have caught himself on both legs or rolled or something," Napoleon said thoughtfully.
"He had a little girl he was protecting," Karen said.
Napoleon nodded. "Was the little girl alright?"
"I think so," Karen said.
Napoleon smiled. "Well, I'll go see Illya. I want to get a good explanation from him on how he got in the moving truck to begin with," He said.
"You and me both," Karen said.
Napoleon laughed and walked towards Illya's room. He knocked.
"Come in," Illya's voice said.
Napoleon opened the door. Illya looked over. "Oh, it's you..." Illya said with a certain amount of disappointment.
"I see your leg is bandaged," Napoleon said.
"Yeah..." Illya said slowly.
"So, how did you get into that moving truck?" Napoleon asked crossing his arms.
Illya looked at Napoleon. "After you left I went to the elevator and some type of gas billowed in and I was knocked out. They put me in a box and loaded me in the back of the truck," Illya said.
"How did the little girl fit in?" Napoleon asked.
"She said that they knocked her out and took her with us," Illya said.
Napoleon nodded slowly. "And the young woman I met outside?" He said point towards the door.
"When I was trying to get out of the truck she was behind us. I got in her car," Illya said.
"Ooooh," Napoleon said nodding.
"Well, after you've been released we'll be making a visit to the young woman you were with in the hotel," Napoleon said.
"This time, let's take the stairs," Illya said.
Napoleon laughed. "Of course, of course," He said.
Napoleon handed Illya a communicator. Illya put it in his suit pocket.
"A communicator is nice, but a pair of pants would be nicer," Illya said.
Napoleon shrugged. "I'll work on that," He said.
"Thank you," Illya said dryly.
Napoleon walked out of the door. He shut the door behind him. He smiled at a nurse that he passed. He took some time to admire her figure from behind before walking out of the emergency ward of the hospital.
Napoleon reached the exit. He opened the door and left. Karen saw him and followed him. It appear that she was trying to keep out of sight of Napoleon, but she wasn't doing a very good job of it. Napoleon stopped at a corner and flattened on the wall. She walked by and he stepped out behind her.
"Why were you following me?" Napoleon asked.
Karen jumped. She turned to look at Napoleon in surprise. She tried to wipe the guilt off her face and look innocent. "What do you mean?" She asked with her feebly mask of innocence.
Napoleon made a tutting noise. "Don't act like I don't know what you were doing. I am a professional," He said.
Karen hung her head. "I wanted to figure out where you were going," She said. "I thought I might learn something about what Illya was doing from you..."
"Oh, you must really want to know what Illya was doing," Napoleon said slowly. "He was just knocked out and dumped in the back of that truck."
"Is that really all?" Karen said rather disappointed. "I was hoping it would be some type of secret agent plot..."
Napoleon laughed. "That's a little far fetched," He said.
"I suppose," Karen said slowly, "but if you had seen Illya jump out of that truck you would have had some strange ideas too."
Napoleon smiled at her. "I've seen Illya do some very impressive feats," He said.
"This time it was really impressive. He jumped down with the little girl in his arms and he landed on one knee then he just got up and started walking," Karen said.
Napoleon nodded. "I imagined it was impressive," He said. "He doesn't save children that often."
Karen looked Napoleon up and down as if to size him up. "Could you possibly tell me what you and Illya do?" She asked.
"Oh, this and that," Napoleon said.
Karen frowned. "Why is it that when ever I ask you two questions, you avoid answering them straight?" She asked.
"Maybe because you won't believe the truth," Napoleon said.
"Try me," Karen said putting her hands on her hips.
"Have you heard of the U.N.C.L.E.?" Napoleon asked.
"Um... Isn't the U.N.C.L.E. that spy agency?" Karen asked.
"I guess you could say that," Napoleon said. "Anyway, Illya and I are agents of U.N.C.L.E."
"I knew it," Karen said quietly.
Napoleon smiled slightly. "Illya and I are trying to stop a plot made by some very bad people," He said. "They're the ones that captured Illya."
Karen nodded.
"Do you understand why we couldn't tell you what is going on?" Napoleon asked.
"Oh, yes," Karen said. "Do you think Illya will be alright to finish the rest of your mission?"
Napoleon smiled. "He'll be fine. He's taken worse injuries," He said.
Karen looked at Napoleon with a puzzled look. "Why are you telling me this?" She asked.
"Because there's something I'd like you to help me with," Napoleon said. "You know the little girl that was admitted to the hospital with Illya?"
Karen nodded.
"I need you to take her to this location," Napoleon said pulling a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket. He wrote the address of the hotel that Illya had been at before he had been kidnapped. "And after you've done that I'll meet up with you at the bar and we can share a drink."
Karen blushed and took the paper. "Alright," She said smiling.
Napoleon turned to walk off.
"Where are you going now?" Karen asked.
"To get a pair of pants," Napoleon said shrugging.
★★★
Napoleon and Illya rode together silently. Napoleon was driving. The two U.N.C.L.E. agents' car neared the hotel. Napoleon slowed the car to a stop and both agents got out of the car. They walked into the hotel and headed for the stairs.
Illya winced with pain after every few steps. Napoleon looked over at him.
"Are you sure you don't want to take the elevator?" Napoleon asked.
"An elevator was how I got into this mess," Illya said.
"We could wear gas masks," Napoleon said.
"And when people see us wearing the gas masks," Illya said.
"I guess it was a bad idea," Napoleon said laughing.
Illya shook his head. He took another step up the stairs and winced again. They walked for some time before reaching the floor they wanted and exiting the stairs and going down the hallway towards room 428.
Illya knocked on the door of room 428. "Just a moment!" Amelia's voice called.
Amelia came to the door. Her eyes widened. "You?!" She exclaimed.
Illya pulled out his gun and pointed it at her. Amelia tried to close the door on him, but he put his foot in the way and pushed into the room. Amelia retreated behind a couch.
"You're supposed to be dead," Amelia said.
"Sorry to disappoint," Illya said walking around the couch. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her onto the couch. Napoleon walked in. Amelia moved so she was sitting properly on the couch.
"What do you two want?" She asked angrily.
"Answers," Illya said loudly.
Amelia looked at him quite surprised. "Illya isn't like me. He isn't against hurting women. I can't stop him from hurting you," Napoleon said walking towards her.
Amelia swallowed. "I'll tell you anything, just don't hurt me," She said.
"What did you do with the suitcase?" Napoleon asked sitting down beside her.
Amelia frowned. "I gave it to one of the hotel staff," She said. "He was a THRUSH agent. I don't know what was in it or anything. I'm just a carrier."
Napoleon smiled at her. "Come now, I know you're lying," He said. "You are actually rather high on the THRUSH Hierarchy, aren't you?"
Amelia swallowed again. "How did you know that?" She asked.
"We're asking the questions!" Illya said angrily.
Amelia cringed away from Illya into Napoleon. "Yes, I am," She said with some fear in her voice.
"What was in the suitcase and why was it so important that you had to deliver it yourself?" Napoleon asked putting his hands on Amelia's shoulders and pushing her away from him slowly.
"They were papers on a drug that THRUSH is developing," Amelia said. "The chemical composition, the formula, the effects, all of that."
"Where is the suitcase now?" Napoleon asked.
"It should still be here. they weren't going to send it to the labs until night," Amelia said.
Napoleon smiled at her. "That's good for you," He said.
Amelia smiled nervously. "You're not going to kill me are you?" She asked.
"No, of course not," Napoleon said. "You still have valuable information for U.N.C.L.E."
Amelia let out a sigh of relief. Illya pulled out his communicator. This time it was a pen. He rearranged it and pulled an antennae out of the back.
"Open Channel D," He said.
"Channel D is open," The female voice said.
"We've captured a THRUSH agent," Illya said. "Napoleon and I are going to retrieve the suitcase."
"I'll send an agent to watch the captive," The female voice said.
"Thank you, Barbara," Illya said.
Her rearranged the communicator back into a pen.
"I wonder when Wanda will be back," Napoleon said. "It just isn't the same without her."
Illya shrugged.
Napoleon and Illya waited for a few minutes before a knock at the door came. Illya and Napoleon both got up and both drew their guns. They hid behind the door and opened it slowly. A young man walked in.
"Mister Kuryakin?" The young man said nervously. "Mister Solo?"
Illya and Napoleon both stepped out from behind the door. They put their guns back in their shoulder holsters. The young man turned towards them.
"Oh, sir," He said. "Uh... Sirs?"
"Are you the agent that's going to watch our little thrush?" Napoleon asked.
"Um... Oh, yeah," The young man said pulling out an U.N.C.L.E. Card and handing it to Napoleon. The name on the card was Henry Smith.
Napoleon looked over the card. "Well, everything seems to be in order," He said. "Don't let her out of your sights and don't let her out of this room."
"Yes, sir," Henry said.
"Oh, and don't let her seduce you," Napoleon said stepping out of the room.
Henry looked after Napoleon with some nervousness. Illya looked at Henry with a doubting look before walking out of the room himself. Illya looked over at Napoleon.
"Do you think he can handle it?" Illya asked.
"Has U.N.C.L.E. ever sent someone incompetent to do the job of a real agent?" Napoleon asked.
Illya frowned. "No, I don't think so..." He said slowly.
"See, we'll be fine," Napoleon said smiling.
"I hope so," Illya said.
The two agents walked down the stairs. Illya seemed to be getting better at ignoring his knee, but every now and again he would wince in pain. They reached the first floor. Napoleon and Illya were in the lobby.
"Where would THRUSH hide the suitcase?" Napoleon asked.
"How would I know?" Illya asked looking over at Napoleon slightly annoyed.
"It would have to be some place that only staff would go in," Napoleon said.
"What? A broom closet?"
"No, probably not," Napoleon said.
"Her room," Illya said with his eyes widening. "We never searched the room!"
Napoleon looked over at Illya. They both ran up the stairs. They reached the fourth floor. Napoleon was slightly out of breath, and Illya was grimacing in pain. They both ran towards room 428. Napoleon kicked the door in.
Amelia stood up startled. She had been standing over Henry, who was knocked out. Napoleon had his gun pointed at her. Amelia pointed her gun at Napoleon. She fired a shot at Napoleon and Illya. The shot missed both of them and hit the wall behind the two U.N.C.L.E. agents.
Illya and Napoleon both jumped opposite directions of each other. Napoleon shot very close to Amelia. Amelia sat down her gun and raised her hands in fear. "I surrender!" She exclaimed.
"Where's the suitcase?" Napoleon called out.
"It's under the bed," She said.
Napoleon glanced over at Illya. Napoleon shook his head towards the bed and Illya walked towards it and looked under. He pulled the suitcase out from under the bed then opened it and looked over the papers. "They seem real," Illya said.
"They are, I didn't have time to switch out the papers. I was fighting off that little twit," Amelia said pointing towards Henry.
Illya closed the suitcase. Napoleon stood up. "Okay, stand up," He said still pointing his gun at Amelia.
Amelia stood up with her hands still in the air. "Come over here," He said twitching his gun towards him slightly.
Amelia walked towards Napoleon. "Now, you, Illya, and I are going to take a ride to U.N.C.L.E.'s interrogation division and you're going to tell them everything you know about THRUSH," Napoleon said putting his gun to her back.
Amelia nodded slowly. Illya walked up to them with the suitcase. "What about that guy?" She said nodding her head towards Henry.
"He'll wake up with a massive headache in a few hours," Illya said.
The three people walked out of the hotel room.
★★★
Napoleon walked into the hotel lobby. He looked around and saw Karen sitting at the bar. He walked towards her with a smile on his face. He sat down beside her. She smiled at him.
"You're as beautiful as ever," Napoleon said.
Karen blushed. "Thank you," She said.
Napoleon signaled the bartender. "Two glasses of..." He looked at her.
"Brandy," Karen said quickly.
"Brandy," Napoleon repeated.
"Make it three," Illya said sitting on the other side of Karen.
Napoleon looked at Illya in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"I told her I was going to talk with her after I got my pants back," Illya said shrugging.
Napoleon glared at Illya.
Karen smiled. "Well, now I have two very attractive companions and an entire afternoon," She said laughing.
The bartender handed the three their glasses of brandy. Napoleon drank his in on gulp. Illya smiled at Napoleon and took a sip of his drink. Karen laughed as she drank hers.
★★★
(There we go, all done with this little affair. Poor ol' Henry didn't get any help and little Annabel was sent home to her mommy. I guess that's about it, I got a few more little affairs all cooked up in my head. I feel so creative!)